I could use a little fuel myself|
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Below are the 15 most recent journal entries recorded in
The Battle of the Bulge's LiveJournal:
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|Thursday, March 5th, 2009|
But I LIKE to eat
I'm realizing that the main reason I'm not losing weight is because I'm eating too much. It boils down to a number of things, really:
* I get bored being at home all day. (Working on this one.)
* Habit - being too used to having desserts, or snacks at certain times, or whatever.
* It's /there/. (aka, the French Fry Principle)
* I LIKE food.
This last one is the biggest problem. I don't really /want/ to cut down on my intake. I mean, I do, in theory, but in practice, I hate denying myself things. (Wow, that sentence had a lot of commas.) I don't WANT to cut calories, or change habits, or avoid things that are yummy and bad for me.
So yes, my dieting setback is petulance. How sad is that? :P
My other problem goes with both 'habit' and 'liking food.' What I mean here is that I will decide, "I want x food item
," or "I really want dessert tonight," and will therefore have x-food-item or dessert, whether I'm actually hungry or not. This leads to overeating because I don't so much "save room" for dessert as just /make/ room for dessert.
I'm really not sure how to break these patterns, but I know I'm not going to lose my last 10-15 (which was at one point down to 7 *sigh*) pounds of pregnancy weight without doing so. Exercise alone isn't going to do the job. Current Mood: fat
|Monday, November 10th, 2008|
Wii Fit rant
I hate the Body Test. Well, no, I like to keep tabs on my weight. But I hate that it encourages checking in Every Single Day to weigh yourself. I tend to let myself have "cheat days" on weekends. So when I check in on Monday, it's possible I might be up a pound or so. And seeing that graph go up and up is really discouraging. I'm generally a once-a-week weigher. Which is probably what I should do anyway, and just accept that it's going to yell at me when I turn it on every day. Current Mood: annoyed
|Wednesday, October 8th, 2008|
NOW's Love Your Body Day: October 15
The former intern/summer minister at my church, Lisa, wants to hear from women (sorry guys!) about why you love your body. Her blog post can be found here, though I'll copy the text behind a cut as well.
I've cross-posted to chickchat and my journal as well, to give as many women as possible a chance to participate.
( WomynRev's post textCollapse )
|Tuesday, August 5th, 2008|
Feeling the Spark
I finally restarted SparkPeople
today, with the hope that being accountable will help keep me from thoughtlessly snacking on whatever's lying around the house. I've also been getting more exercise the past two weeks because my back has bothered me enough to force me to do yoga every day.
I'm currently down to 147 (down, I think, 10 pounds from just postpartum and up 11 from pre-pregnancy). I'd LIKE to get down to 130 or so, but we'll see where I end up. My current goal is to have shed the remaining 10 pounds before Liam's first birthday. That gives me four more months to lose ten pounds, which is more than feasible. I'm not sure I can realistically make the "nine months on, nine months off" goal and lose them by next month, but tacking an extra 3 months on should make it doable.
It feels good to be back on the wagon.
Again. :P Current Mood: accomplished
|Monday, June 16th, 2008|
Back on the wagon
Got married, went to Disney, gained 10-ish pounds. I waited until this past weekend to weigh myself, but by the time I got back, most of my size 12 bottoms (including brand-new stuff) was uncomfortably tight around the waistband. Saturday afternoon I weighed in at 145. I don't know if that's an all-time high, but any weight for myself beginning with 14x makes me unhappy.
Disney was lots of fun, but I won't miss the "Disney Diet." There were a handful of places that had food similar to what we make at home (Tusker House in Animal Kingdom, the day before we left, was a godsend to my GI system with Actual Whole Grains!), but mostly the food was too rich, or typical amusement-park fare consisting of meat, sugar, and french fries. And almost all of it in huge portions. Never Again The Deluxe Dining Plan!
Just being back home for almost a week and making an effort to eat normal foods and normal portions, I'm sure I've pooped some of the crap out of my body. Which is good, if TMI s:) But now that the wedding is over and the church choir season is over, the only activity I have is dance classes once or twice a week -- which means lots of time to finally get back to the gym.
Now to actually dig my gym clothes out and make a plan for when to go. After work is a given; hopefully it will be cool enough by that point in the day that I don't get off the bus and wimp out.
PS - Oh, and I'm making a real effort to make taking my cholesterol pill an actual regular habit, and not just an occasional thing. I should have finished a three month supply by now; I've got about half a bottle still to go before I need a refill.
|Monday, June 2nd, 2008|
One of the women in my due-date/parenting community has been going on lately about her weight loss progress. Another friend from the same community just posted about being back to her pre-pregnancy weight, even though she'd initially /gained/ weight after her son was born.
Once I lost the initial water weight and such, I was 157. I lost just a few pounds within the first weeks, and then was firmly STUCK at 153 or so until a stomach bug lost me 5 or 6 pounds overnight. :P But several of those have made their way back on, too.
As of this morning on my new PCP's scale, I am at 151. That is 15 pounds up from my pre-pregnancy weight of 136, and I am about 5 1/2 months postpartum now.
My doctor made the offhanded comment about how I could "stand to lose some weight," and I'm finding that it's really sticking with me. I mean, yes, it's true that I'm now overweight again, but I had a baby! Is 5 1/2 months really too long to still be overweight?
On the one hand, I'm thinking, "Yes, she's right - I need to DO something about this." (Not helped by having been out of town all weekend and having lots of bad-for-me food since Thursday or so.) But I'm also wanting to get all defensive and be like, "Hey, give me TIME!" And I also know she wasn't being hyper-focussed on it the way a lot of doctors have done. There were no lectures, there was no blaming. She simply stated that I am a little above where I should be, which is fair and true.
But my ego still doesn't like it very much.
|Sunday, March 9th, 2008|
Last I checked, the scale still said 153. That was at the beginning of the week, before I began earnestly trying to be good.
So far, I've succeeded. There was no ice cream in the house this week, and I also managed to choose healthier snack options, and not stress-eat! Yay!
Monday - two 1/2-hour long walks with a Mobied baby
Tuesday - full yoga routine
Wednesday - half yoga routine
Thursday - 20-30 minute walk
Saturday - full yoga routine
today - half yoga routine + 15 wall-pushups + 25 slow tummy-crunches
This week's goal: keep up the good work, and incorporate 2 days of Yogilates in there somewhere. Current Mood: accomplished
|Monday, March 3rd, 2008|
Breaking bad habits
When I initially lost the 40-50 pounds I lost back in 2003-2004, it was mostly due to some digestive issues that made it impossible for me to eat bad (high-fat) foods without fear of pain or other unpleasant side effects. That, frankly, made it pretty easy to lose weight because I wasn't tempted to eat so badly. Thanks to probiotics which straightened my system around, and then pregnancy when my body /needed/ (and therefore tolerated) more fat. That allowed me to get into some bad habits because, hey, I hadn't been able to eat these things in several years! Donuts, full-fat ice cream, etc. And btw, I also have absolutely no willpower, so when I was trying to avoid eating these foods before, I just had to keep them out of my house. That was the only way to ensure I wouldn't be bad.
When I got pregnant, I weighed 136. Just before giving birth I was 170-something, I forget now. Post-birth, 157, and last I checked I'd dropped all of 4 of those extra baby-pounds. I haven't weighed in this week because I've been SO bad over the past week, I don't think I even want to know where I've ended up. Oh, and did I mention that I've done almost no exercise in the past couple of weeks?
Starting today, I'm back on the wagon. No more binges, no more keeping ice cream in the house all the time, no more stress-eating or sweets as treats when I've had a rough baby-day. If I can be good most of the time, the occasional treats are okay, but the should be the exception rather than the majority.
Starting today, I'm also going to get more exercise. On days when it's too cold/rainy for walking, I can almost always find 10-30 minutes for yoga. I'd like to join a gym, but I don't know if our budget would allow that, nor if my husband would want to do double duty (working + daddying) for several days a week while I go. Food for thought.
To kick-start this, I went our for two long walks this afternoon. (I wonder how to calculate the extra calories that burns with a baby strapped to my torso...) When I had my lunch and wanted more food afterwards, I had a salad wrap rather than cookies or other less-healthy choices.
I can do this. But it will take work; I can't just wish the weight away. :P Current Mood: optimistic
|Wednesday, February 13th, 2008|
so now that i have a gym partner i go a ton more frequent. i actually make my gym membership worthwhile. i have been lifting and doing cardio. i am always sore but i know it is worth it. i have set myself a goal... a small one... but still. I have never been able to do chin ups. So in my weight lifting process I am working to be able to do 3 sets of 12 chinups. Rightnow.... it is nothing but a dream. At my gym there is a weight assisted chin up and dip machine. At the end of my workout the other day For shits and giggles I did 2 sets of 5 on the dips. I then tried to do chinups but couldn'tfor the life of me. Oh well. As I get in shape i will eventually get the abillity to do it. I need to buy myself a bike to bike to and from work. This cab bullshit is nothing but that... bullshit and a waste of money. I think I might try ithaca for a good bike when i can afford it. Anyways... back to work. I weighed myself and was not really surprised. I forget now what it was exactly... but i tink i weight 276. last time i was working out and weighed myself i was 260. so i went up. no surprise.
i am going to get fitter... healthier... and all dat jazz. not just for me... but for rory. so i can do tons of fun things with her. my dad was not really in my life as a kid. he was a workaholic. one thing i do remember playing baseball with him in the front yard and goingg for bike rides. i did other things with him... but those were the fit things. i enjoyed them. alot. so yeah i want to do those things with rory. Current Mood: chipper
Yesterday, I finally fit back into non-maternity jeans. Yes, they're a size 14 instead of my usual 8-10 ... but they're not maternity! It's progress! Last I checked, the number on the scale had only gone down by one pound, but ... hey, I'll take it! :)
I haven't done much exercise this week. Sunday I did some mall-walking, but nothing since then, as Liam's been fairly high-maintenance. I have chiro this afternoon, and maybe I can squeeze in some yoga this evening.
|Friday, February 8th, 2008|
So I have been a member of a gym for 3 weeks and I am now going. The owner is awesome and he started my membership over since i have not used it til this week. I have a friend that is a member of the gym too and she and i are going every day after i get out of work. It feels great! As I type I am sore because I am not only doing cardio a workout I am also lifting weights. So yeah. I feel SUPER! Tera made a crack at me that apparently it is doing good since I sat for a hour tonight and did not snore the whole time. (i snore while awake since i m in such poor shape... yes this is sad... make your cracks) But I am also doing good in my attempts to drink less soda. I am drinking a few cans of Coke Zero a day and that is it really. I am really trying. Current Mood: chipper
|Wednesday, February 6th, 2008|
So I've been stuck in the high 137.x's for the last while, which was making me most unhappy. I knew some of it was water retention from PMS, and from not getting to the gym as often as I'd like to anymore. I sing with two groups one night each a week, and I have dance lessons 1-2 times a week, which leaves one or two weeknights after work, and weekends 9 or 10am to 2pm. (I love my gym, but their weekend hours kind of suck.) I've been going semi-regularly on Wednesdays that I don't have dance lessons. I'm trying to not stress myself out over it, but I could ramp up to making Tuesday night and/or Saturday morning a more regular thing.
I have been better about eating right lately. lite and I have been making sure to cook both lunches and dinners for most of the week on Sundays to make that easier. And yet my weight was STILL sticking at 137 -- when I dared to check the scale.
I think I found the problem this week. I'd been packing walnuts to snack on in my lunchbox, to up my good fat intake to help with my cholesterol (which is high enough I started generic Zocor in December). I left them out the last three days, and even with having some extra salt in my diet from corn chips with my taco chicken (along with spring greens and 2% shredded cheese), I've dropped at least 2 lbs since late last week.
Alright then. No more nuts on a regular basis, even "good" nuts. Not unless I drop, say, my Luna bars as part of breakfast -- and honestly, the Luna bars are more filling, and have more things I need than the walnuts.
Also good: tonight at our private dance lesson, we were dancing to a fast enough song that I felt like I was actually working at keeping up the tempo. I've also been wearing my one pair of heels to practice to get used to dancing in heels, and between the two, I suspect my calves are going to hate me tomorrow. But hey, that's a sign of a good workout, right? s:)
Current Mood: accomplished
Today I managed to do the full core I routine, all the way through. My groin muscles and very base of my abs are still very stiff, but I managed even the poses that stretched those. In fact, I'm even back to being able to reach the floor in my forward bends, after only 3 sessions!
Weight-wise, nothing has changed: I'm stuck at 154.
But at least my body is getting its flexibility back! The weight will be easier to take off when I can do more outdoor exercise, I expect. Dieting while nursing = not the best plan. :P
|Tuesday, February 5th, 2008|
...was a wuss. I soaked in the hot tub for 15 minutes. Period. I do feel better now...I was really sore earlier.
I really need to get back on the wagon. I suspect this won't be happening til my boss returns, and I'm back to normal work instead of 'holy-bat-crap' work. Today, yeah, hot tub. Current Mood: exhausted
|Thursday, January 31st, 2008|
Swam/water ran for 20 minutes. New addition to this is doing chin ups and pull ups ( yes, there is a difference between the two...it's in the position of the hands on the bar ) off of the diving block...2 sets of 5 of each. Hot tubbed for 7.
Weight ( eek ) = 241 lbs, up 3 lbs. That bites. I can't be surprised, though....we ate out a few times this last week, and I've not been as careful as I could have been. Still surprised that the gain was so much. Silly enough, my jeans are fitting better. Go figure :/( I was, however, very very naughty in the locker room today...Collapse ) Current Mood: naughty